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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22494709">The True Linus Curse</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>2gether — Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Awkward Romance, Dark Comedy, Facials, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Morning Sex, Muscle Worship, Overstimulation, Post-Canon, Rough Sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:21:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,849</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22494709</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's 2002, Jerry and Chad are living as a couple in Lower Manhattan and they have no idea what the hell they're doing. Yet, they're determined to make their post-stardom lives work, even with Chad's many quirks. One of his lesser known ones would have blacklisted him from the music industry had it been exposed back then; Jerry is the first and possibly the last person to have to face it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jerry O'Keefe/Chad Linus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The True Linus Curse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Well, it was fun being part of a semi-famous boy band with ridiculous misadventures, but all good things must come to an end. Still, every end leads to another beginning and I’m gonna be the saddest man in the world when my new story ends.</p><p>We obviously couldn’t go on without Q.T., even if he wished for the rest of us to stay together no matter what. Fortunately, that’s not what he wanted. He instead wanted all of us to live our best lives and hopefully fall in love for the long haul along the way. After we said our goodbyes and prayers, we all agreed to leave LA and go our separate ways. Well, for the most part.</p><p>Mickey moved to Scottsdale, Arizona and is attending community college there. He’s always telling me how his girlfriend is better than his ultimate fantasy and that he would do anything for her. Given that they’ve been together for almost a year now, just like me and Chad, I think he means it this time. Doug went back to the outskirts of Poughkeepsie to work as a freelancing mechanic. He swore to me that it would work out and that he would finally move on from his divorce. Yet, I’m inclined to think he’s in denial. I’d ask Chad about him, but he’s become a bit of a sore topic for us these days.</p><p>Watching Chad sleep next to me like this makes me feel a lot of different things. Protectiveness, gratefulness... Love, of course, above all else. I love how soft his snoring is and how he balls his hands up into fists like a baby. He looks like an innocent kitten or something like that, which I’m sure he’d take as an especially meaningful compliment. He’s always loved animals, but we can only do so much with the landlord’s rules in our apartment. As soon as we climb the ladders high enough in our separate jobs, we can finally start looking for housing in the suburbs and live our picket fence dream together; complete with dogs and who knows what else... For now, the West Village will have to do. Anywhere else and we’d be done for.</p><p>Anyway, it’s easy to forget sometimes that Chad is a little older now; hell, even more mature than he led me to think he was all along. We’ve been together for a while, just him and I in NYC. I’ve slowly been showing him the ropes to adulthood and all of the responsibilities that requires, but there’s still something missing.</p><p>I reach out and run my fingers down his cheek, caressing his jawline after shuffling closer to him. I feel his warm breath on my thumb as I trace his parted lips with it. I shut my eyes when I hear him start to moan. It’s not something I expected to hear anytime soon, so I treasure the moment. I take Chad in my arms, kissing his neck and listening for different variations of his sweet, sweet sounds, but my eagerness isn’t being recognized just yet. My boyfriend’s still in Dreamland, most likely frolicking with Ewoks again.</p><p>His chuckling fills my stomach with butterflies almost right away. It makes me wonder if he was asleep all along or just playing tricks on me. He’s proven to me several times that he’s quite the prankster, but it’s never anything that’s even slightly hurtful. As far as I’m concerned, my Chad’s as pure as any other soft-spoken virgin.</p><p>“That tickles, Jer...”</p><p>The voice that used to piss me off so much cradled my ears like a gentle lullaby, always brimming with the promise that the day to come will be full of excitement and wonder. I barely managed to rasp “good morning” to him before taking his lips in mine, clutching his soft hair that’s almost done reverting to its natural chestnut brown. Chad has a habit of rubbing my arms and back when we kiss like this. I figure it’s because he gets too nervous and hyper when we’re intimate; his hands still tremble when we make out.</p><p>At last, I find the will to pull away from him. After a few seconds of catching his breath, he opens his eyes and gives me a big smile. “I don’t think I’m ever gonna get used to that.”</p><p>“I didn’t even use my tongue. Your lips are really that sensitive?”</p><p>“I think my <em>everything</em> is sensitive, Jerry, inside and out.”</p><p>Why don’t we find out together?</p><p>I almost said that to him just now, but I feel slimy for thinking of flirting with him like that. It’s not that I think he can’t handle exploring his sexuality or anything. Doug’s the hypocritical prude, not me.</p><p>Whoa! Yikes. Harsh, Jerry. Look, I’m still angry at Doug for the way he treats Chad and I while living like a... Alright, that’s not here nor there.</p><p>Getting back to my train of thought, it’s simply that I don’t think Chad is ready to explore his sexuality with me specifically. He’s been overcoming his shyness since we moved to his home state, but I can’t help but feel like he’s intimidated by me. I guess I can see why. I’m confident, handsome, in really good shape and I know how to get into someone’s heart while staying true to my game in the sheets.</p><p>Granted, I only ever had sex with Erin, but I knew that if it wasn’t for my heartbreak at the time, I could have had any woman I wanted. It wasn’t until a few months later that I accepted that I was in love with my biggest cheerleader and confidant, who was a man. Well, almost a man, but pretty much done being a boy. Crap, let’s just forget the semantics for now.</p><p>But if I’m really the reason why Chad’s still hesitant to move to second base, then I feel like I screwed up. I’m doing everything I can to show him how much I love him and how much he means to me. The last thing I want is for him to feel like he’s living a life that he doesn’t deserve. He deserves so much more than my love. I’d even train to be an astronaut just to give him a rock from the Moon if that’s what he wants.</p><p>“Jerry? Did I say something wrong?”</p><p>Looks like I was way too deep in thought this whole time. I’m scaring the poor guy. I gulp before assuming the role of the boring surrogate dad in our relatively weird relationship.</p><p>“Chad... Listen. More often than not, you need to be careful with the things you say. You know, the words you use. I know you know, but you might give people the wrong idea and make them think about things that you might not want them to think about.”</p><p>Chad glares at me, looking somewhat upset. Before I’m able to think of how to calm him down, he suddenly starts to rub my back and arms again, but slower. He closes the spaces between us with his body, pressing himself against me as he exhales on my lips.</p><p>“Get real, Jerry. You should know by now that everything I say is deliberate.”</p><p>Oh. Right. Hey, did I mention earlier that he’s an especially sadistic prankster? Again, nothing malicious, but there’s definitely some sick pleasure in there somewhere.</p><p>“I just wanted to get a rise out of you. Speaking of rises, I can feel your erection.”</p><p>The coy grin on his face right now is driving me crazy. I should have known that this is how he would tell me that he’s ready. Britney should have forked over Oops... I Did It Again to us back then, because Chad’s the real master of not being as innocent as he looks.</p><p>Right, I have to collect myself. I’m not going to lose at his little mind games. If it’s straight shooting he wants, it’s straight shooting he’ll get right back.</p><p>“So what are you going to do about it, Chadwin? You think you can handle what I’ve got, baby boy?”</p><p>Ew. What the hell was that? I’m never calling him “baby boy” again. Talk about a Lou Perlman move. Note to self... Think of better condescending nicknames for Chad in the bedroom...</p><p>“I think so... Wh-what do you want me to do to you?”</p><p>I can’t tell if Chad is pulling another trick or not. Something about the way he asked me that feels genuine, vulnerable. As I concentrate on his expression, I finally notice how fast his heart is beating. It’s either because he’s too nervous to commit to his game or maybe, just maybe, he’s just as hard as I am. I lean in and kiss him again.</p><p>“It’s up to you. I don’t want us to do anything that’ll make you feel uncomfortable. I love you too much.”</p><p>Chad lets out a shaky sigh. “I love you too, but I don’t want you to think I’m...”</p><p>“What? Think you’re what?”</p><p>I comb his hair with my fingers while waiting for him to find the right words.</p><p>“I just want you to take me seriously, Jerry. I want you to know that I can handle life, that I can handle you. I don’t want you to handle me with kid gloves. I want us to have sex like the men we are.”</p><p>“Chad, we don’t need to--”</p><p>“I want to, more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. Honestly, you excite me. You make me feel things in my underwear that the usual pipe cleaning won’t make go away.”</p><p>I... What? Double ew. I guess crude honesty runs in the family.</p><p>“When I touch you the way I do when we kiss, it’s not just to keep myself steady. Sure, your muscles make me feel safe, but... Gosh, they’re just so sexy. You’re sexy...” He buries his face in my chest. “I need you. I need you. I need you inside of me. I want you to hold me as you’re inside of me.”</p><p>Oh, <em>shit.</em> He really is serious about this. What do I do? We don’t even have condoms here at home.</p><p>“I bought condoms a couple of days ago. They’re in the top left drawer. They’ll be big enough for you and me... Oh, Jerry!”</p><p>I’m sorry, “big enough for you and me”? Going by the unwritten rules of communication, you don’t just say something like that unless it’s relevant to the conversation. Just how big is he? How does he know that he’s big? Actually, how does he know that I’m big?</p><p>“Chad, slow down... We need to at least do a bit of foreplay. Sex is an incremental process, you know.”</p><p>“Foreplay?”</p><p>“That’s right. Things like kissing and petting.”</p><p>“Okay... Then... Use your tongue on my mouth.”</p><p>That’s it. I’m solid now. I can hardly breathe just feeling him close to me. I need to touch and taste every part of him, pronto.</p><p>“I’m not going to be able to stop once you get me started, Chad. Are you sure you want to do this?”</p><p>His nails dig into my skin. “Just <em>screw</em> me already! I can’t take it anymore!”</p><p>No need to tell me twice, baby.</p><p>We begin to kiss more roughly than usual, our legs and arms getting tangled together in the process. I slip my tongue into his mouth, just as he requested me to, and like some kind of maestro sex DJ, I start turning tables in there. I was a little concerned that Chad would screw this up with his inexperience, but I remember that he held his own with Mickey and I’s date that night. She taught him well and I can feel it in the way his tongue weaves in my mouth like one of those cars in The Fast and the Furious. My body’s heating up, but his mouth feels even hotter. Chad feels so damn good, too damn good; I should have been doing this with him way sooner.</p><p>All of a sudden, I feel him grinding up on me; that’s when I lose control. I shove him into the bed by pushing his shoulder down and gain leverage on his entire body. I’m throwing in some action with my teeth, alternating between nibbling his lips and licking them, even sucking the bottom one here and there. We grip and hold each other tighter and tighter, we’re breathless, the bed is creaking and I swear to god, I’m going to cum.</p><p>As I pull away from Chad to take a breather, he gets all grabby and tries to take off my tank top. Who am I to stop him? I want this just as much as he does, so I let him. I feel my cock twitch as he moans; it’s also his opportunity to overpower me. I’m throbbing again and again as he starts exploring my bare chest. Chad holds on to my biceps for a while, leaning his head against my sternum.</p><p>“Look at you,” he whispers. “You think you can just keep prancing around here shirtless after taking a shower and not expect me to get all horny?”</p><p>I’m speechless. Not only have I definitely lost control of the situation, but now I’m seeing a side of him that I don’t even think he himself is aware of.</p><p>“What? Are you losing your mind because I said I get <em>horny</em> looking at your muscles? Or is it because of the way I’m acting?”</p><p>I still can’t think of anything to say. I can barely think at all as he kisses up and down my chest. He’s nipping at my collarbone and clawing at my back, then licking my abs and pinching the ever loving hell out of my nipples. I’ve never felt such intense pain in my twenty years of life and I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to feel this utterly sensational. I don’t know what time it is and I don’t care. He could kill me right now and I’d be thankful for the pleasure it’d give me.</p><p>I can feel Chad pulling down my boxers and removing my socks. My vision’s getting shadier and I can also hear myself moaning and screaming like a wounded animal, only prized for my meat. Chad is selfishly disgracing my body like one, too. So much for having sex like men; we’re nothing more but a couple of filthy, rutting creatures at this moment. Well, he is; I’m about halfway dead.</p><p>I’m getting weaker and weaker. I have to tell him to slow down, but...</p><p>“Chad... Chad, please... Slower, but don’t stop... Don’t...”</p><p>Jesus, I can’t... I’m...</p>
<hr/><p>...</p><p>What...?</p><p>What’s happening...?</p><p>Wait! Oh my--</p><p>I barely manage to shut my eyes again before I feel bursts of something warm and slimy pelting my face. My punishment for opening my mouth to scream is a couple of these spurts right down my throat, causing me to nearly choke. It doesn’t help that Chad’s hands immediately hold me down as I try to get up. My fight-or-flight instinct kicks in and I almost instantly knee him in the abdomen. His raspy yell is a bloodcurdling one and I feel him land on top of me, now whimpering in pain.</p><p>I rub my eyelids before opening them so I can look at him. I wonder what I look like to him right now. Before him is the man he idolized, his face drenched in his semen, probably looking terrified. Has he lost respect for me? Am I less of a man than him for not maintaining control of the situation? Regardless of how he feels about me, the fact of the matter is that I don’t know how I feel about what we did.</p><p>“Jerry? Jerry! I’m so sorry! I don’t know what came over me, just please... Please don’t leave me like she left Doug... I won’t do it again, I promise...”</p><p>I’m not fully conscious just yet, but I barely heard what Chad told me. My gut instinct is to hold him close, but his pleas leave me with a burning question in my mind that I just have to ask right away.</p><p>“Is this really why she left him? Are you all like this?”</p><p>Chad rolls off me, facing the window instead of me. “Yeah. Yeah, we are. We’re screwed up, remember? Us Linuses have always been outcasts for a reason.”</p><p>“It’s not an inbreeding thing, is it?”</p><p>A wave of relief washes over my weary body when I hear him chuckle. “Surprisingly and thankfully, not that I know of.” I’m even happier when I rub his back and he doesn’t recoil. Mine is still aching; I realize, though, that Chad has not gotten out of his pyjamas since we woke up way (probably way) earlier.</p><p>“So your family has a sex drive problem, then.”</p><p>“That’s part of it, yeah. We’re just too aggressive. We’re violent, filthy, sex-crazed and our social skills don’t really exist. Doug... Doug told me a long time ago that Dad and Grandpa... Huh. I don’t think I ever got to see my grandpa. I already told you that I’m way younger than my siblings, right? Now that I think about it, I think I saw Grandpa when we dug him out for Doug’s high school graduation back in... ‘94? ‘95?”</p><p>See, that’s one of the reasons why I love Chad so much. He’s the smartest airhead I know and I’ll never need to meet another one, though they’re probably as rare as finding an original bottle of Parfum d’Homme by Montana outside of eBay these days.</p><p>“Chad. Chad.”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“What were you telling me about your family just now?”</p><p>Chad rolls right back on me. “Something about Mom being the one to try and tame our family once and for all after Dad got ditched at the altar for the priest... But I don’t wanna talk about that right now. Later, okay?”</p><p>“Sure. Later...”</p><p>Feeling him start to tremble again, I hoist Chad up with me as I sit upright. I kiss his forehead and cheeks, holding him tight in the process.</p><p>“How far back in time was it when Doug told you about that, sweetie?”</p><p>I see Chad thinking about it for a while before his cheeks slowly turn pink. “Um... It was actually on the night we met you and Mister Buss. A couple of hours before you came along.”</p><p>“No way. You mean at the Mister New York pageant?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Where you sang about crying all the time?”</p><p>“Something like that.”</p><p>“You were hiding behind Doug for most of it, right?”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah...”</p><p>“And you had that cute little red bow tie on with nothing else but those kitschy briefs? You were so adorable that night.”</p><p>“Mm-hm-- Hey! Jerry, you jerk! Don’t tease me like that!”</p><p>I laugh harder than I should and hug him, nuzzling his nose. I love him so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I think I’ve made that abundantly clear several times.</p><p>“Ew! Your nose is all sticky.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“It’s my fault, anyway. Let me grab a tissue for all of that... And your drool. Geez, I really went overboard...”</p><p>What? Oh, <em>right.</em> God, “ew” for sure. Still, I can’t be mad at him and I tell him that as he cleans my face.</p><p>“I mean, it also felt kind of good in a freaky way, but--”</p><p>“You don’t hate me? You’re not scared of me? You’re staying with me?”</p><p>“No, kind of and yes.”</p><p>Chad smiles after exhaling in what I assume is relief. I guess he didn’t take offense at my acknowledgement of him being somewhat frightening.</p><p>“Hmm... I guess I really am like a spider, then, right? Cool!”</p><p>“What, because your strings are messy and unforgiving?”</p><p>That nets me a raspberry from him. I lightly bat his chest in retaliation and he holds my guilty hand. “No, silly. Spiders can be scary, but most of them don’t mean to hurt others. They only do it because that’s what they know. Some people get that and I think the spiders thank them for it.”</p><p>I flinch as he places a hand on one of my pecs, but I straighten myself right after so he doesn’t get the wrong idea. Both of us must have understood what our last individual actions meant, because we lean in at the same time to kiss each other; not with the intent to arouse, but with the intent to love.</p><p>His hold on me is unsteady as I undress him from shoulder to toe. Chad’s skin is softer, a little darker than mine. He’s in better shape than I thought, too. He’s a little muscular, but also pretty slim. I think I could fall in love with his hips the same way he has with my chest and arms. I’m already in love with him as a whole, so that won’t be hard. I am, though, but that's a given when I'm with Chad.</p>
<hr/><p>After a much more normal session of foreplay, I get up to find the condoms that Chad bought. So much for him being painfully shy if he can actually go into a store and buy them without fainting.</p><p>“They’re not in any of the drawers.”</p><p>“Are you sure, Jerry?”</p><p>Without skipping a beat, he hops out of bed and scurries to my side. He leads my hand to the top left drawer of the bedroom desk and we pull it open together. Inside it is nothing but a cookie tin with artwork of a forest at night.</p><p>“I can’t believe you, Chad. This is too sweet.”</p><p>“Open it.”</p><p>I do as he tells me and I see nothing but Magnums inside of it.</p><p>“See why it’s a forest, Jerry?” Chad’s voice is husky and closer to my ear than I expected.</p><p>I moan in the affirmative. “But I want to hear you tell me why.”</p><p>He creeps his hand down my stomach and cups my cock with his free hand. “You know...”</p><p>Chad decides that’s not enough and presses his own dick against my ass at the same time. “...the wood thing.”</p><p>He was right about his size. His is bigger and thicker than mine. I want it inside of me.</p><p>“I thought you wanted me inside of you, Chad.”</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>“So why are you rubbing up against me like that?”</p><p>“Because I want to be inside of you first today.”</p><p>“What happens after that?”</p><p>My imp of a boyfriend gives me a couple of pumps before moaning in my ear.</p><p>“Then I’ll let you fuck me for as long as you can handle me.”</p><p>That same chill goes up my spine when I hear Chad speak in a way that doesn’t feel right.</p><p>“B-but can you handle me?”</p><p>He’s thrown me off my game again...</p><p>“I can shove a thousand dollars up my butt. I bet I won’t even break a sweat.”</p><p>...but I never play just to lose in the end.</p>
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